Woolworths, Capsicum Hatred Dreaming


or; Red Capsicum Runaway Inflationary Pressure on the Economy.

or; How to get rich by buying Capsicums at Woolies…


Dear Woolworths,

I have been shopping with you ever since my mother first held my hand at the ripe old age of three and walked into your Lambton Quay store in Wellington, New Zealand, over fifty-one years ago.

In that time, I have had the privilege in watching you grow from a shop that was a treasure trove of fascinating odds and ends (sewing thimbles, knitting needles, crochet hooks and baby’s nappies,  [well I was holding my mothers hand so was restricted in what I could explore…]) to a global chain purporting to be the fresh food experts.

Purporting ? Well yes, purporting. Mainly because apparently no-one has told Woollies that Red, Yellow and Green Capsicums take exactly the same time grow, utilising the same amount of water, earth and nutrients and require exactly the same harvesting, cleaning and packaging requirements as the other colour capsicums.

Woolworth’s are convinced that the Red ones are twice more betterer than the green ones, so obviously they can’t actually be experts. (Except maybe pricing experts…)

A couple of weeks ago the price was around $12 per kilo and a few weeks before that I think it was $10.00 per kilo, yesterday it was at $16 per…. (I did a little Chart.)

The Green ones (next to the red ones) were only $8.98 per kilo.

I thought I would price check Woolworth’s online.

 So it must be only in-store retail shoppers that are slugged for $3.00 per kilo freight. Or maybe it’s just my local store.

But the Green Peppers freight was obviously much cheaper per kilo, a whole $2.00 per kilo cheaper* than online, so it can’t be a Freight based on Weight thinggie…

But I thought I would exponentially chart the rapid price increase.

Essentially, by May next year, if this stag runaway “Fresh food Expert” inflationary pressure continues on red capsicums, it will cost the equivalent to yesterday’s gold closing price to buy a kilo of them.

What can we do about this ?

Well… I’m no expert, yet even I can work out that if I buy a pack of red capsicum seeds for $3.41 and plant them in my garden then 12 weeks later… Voila, 30 kilos of bright red Capsicums…

So I think I’m going to pass on the wisdom of how you too can become a fresh food “expert” and grow your own “an ounce of gold  per kilo” red capsicums.

Either buy a packet of seeds at a retail outlet or buy a mixed pack of capsicums (1 red, 1 yellow and 1 green) for $10.98 and getting the seeds out; dry them (on top of the Refrigerator at the back is a good “drying” place). (I like the second option as buying one of each colour of the seed packs comes to $10.23 which means that in actual fact the three capsicums only cost 25 cents each ;-)  LOL)

or give up and toddle along to a Woolworth’s and buy some…

Me personally ? Unfortunately, I don’t think my overdraft will stretch that far.

Dear Bank Manager, can I please have a loan of $156,000 (AUD$) so that I can afford to buy Capsicums for the next twelve months.

I don’t think that will fly… so Woolworths, Fresh food people ? – Meh – Fail! Only relevant to a very small group of people that actually are in fact still employed, can afford a maid and a butler that go and do the shopping. The rest of us will either starve or learn to grow our own fresh food.




My next exciting article will be about Woolworth’s ability to manage stock levels.

*Based on the fact that green bell peppers at the physical store are only a dollar more expensive than the online pricing, whilst the red bell peppers are three dollars more.

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